From Grief To Action

Things You Can Do

• Educate yourself on the symptoms of drug use.
• When your child is clear-headed, ask directly about drug/alcohol use. Avoid angry responses and make an effort to listen.
• Maintain your authority, and counter defiance with compassionate concern.
• Set clear limits that you both agree on: e.g., curfew.
• Search your son or daughter's room.
• Create a phone list of parents and peers.
• Talk to peers' parents, share information, discuss consequences.
• Maintain communication with teen's peers.
• Talk to school teachers and counsellors.
• Random checks to confirm teen's whereabouts.
• Discussion, not explosion.
• Concern, not contempt.
• Don't forget to reward positive behaviour.
• Start looking around for sources of support from professionals.
• Tell your family doctor that possible drug use is the reason you want your child to come for a check-up.

Things You Can Do

• Keep  the connection with your child. Avoid ultimatums.
• Let them know you're aware of the problem.
• Set new rules with increased restrictions.
• Use the evidence and challenge their denial with specific observations.
• Reward positive behaviour and encourage learning from negative behaviour.
• Try to establish a supportive role.
• Make an appointment with a drug and alcohol counsellor for yourself and your child.
• Inform the school about your child's problem.
• If relevant, contact the juvenile court system.
• Attend support groups for parents, family members: e.g., Parents in Action, Alanon.
• Take care of your own health and morale. Organize personal and professional support.

Things You Can Do

• Stay connected. Listen to your child and help them figure out why they're using and what might help them stop.
• Make an appointment with a drug and alcohol counselor to find out about treatment options (e.g., detox, drop-in counseling, day programs, Alanon, residential programs)
• Take your child to an AA meeting, group therapy or drug and alcohol information session. Don't be afraid to try several different groups or counselors before choosing one to attend or consult regularly.
• Work with the child and counsellor to develop a plan. Listen to your teen's feedback and be sure to have a backup plan (or two) in place.
• Contact agencies to find out about eligibility and wait-lists.
• Be prepared for setbacks. Continue to reward healthy behaviour and encourage learning from mistakes.
• Get ideas and suggestions from support groups for parents, family members: e.g., Parents in Action, Alanon
• Be careful to avoid enabling or facilitating problematic behaviour. Set clear agreed-upon rules.
• Inform the school about your child's problem.
• If your child has been arrested, inform the judge and try to have treatment included in any probation order.
• Your hopes can only come true if you take care of your own health. Make that a priority. 

Things You Can Do